You can run...

There is an immutable law at work in the cosmos that compels one to do that to which one is called. We can't run far enough or fast enough from this spectre of responsibility. There are therapeutic models that cite cognitive dissonance as the root cause of all anxiety and, therefore, all dysfunction. When our gut/conscience/reason/etc. tells us to do one thing but we refuse to indulge this selfish, impudent voice it creates an inner struggle between what we are in esse and what we are on the surface. And I'll be damned if the more I try to run the more I find myself being pulled back into the center of my essence by this cosmic law (much like a centrifuge). I have struggled to find a way to remove myself from being, as my mentor Waylon calls it, the "wounded bird guy". Wounded birds seem to find their way onto my doorstep, both literally and figuratively. We can't change what we are in esse. We can't really change what we are on the outside either. Just like a dead racoon in the attic will soon betray its presence, our essence will betray its entrenched presence at some time. It will either manifest as an easy, natural giftedness or as a pent-up, perpetual dysfunction. Even though I believe this to be true, I also understand this Cosmic Law theory as incomplete and, in practice, a load of shit. There is so much more going on than some simple two-way inner dialogue. If you are only hearing a dialogue you are blessed my friend. I believe it to be true that most of us are having the equivalent of a senate hearing going on inside. I don't have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I have this host of voices on either shoulder and nobody is talking about right and wrong. They are reasoning shit out at the same time and it all sounds good to me. So what to do?

PAX

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